the dead don't

for the first time the other day i witnessed a squirrel get run over.
it hesitated between two cars and, i guess, thought it best to bolt back right underneath a tire.
it was amazing how flat it became. once the squirrel ran back under than mass of rubber it just kind of pop'd out as flat as can be, i really wasn't expecting it.
thinking back on it i have to assume it died at once. so i guess its death couldn't have been that bad.. but the idea of a critter that doesn't really think at all dying at once... well.
you could kind of see it in its body language that its last thought was "oh shit what am i going to do" or a kind of "... fuck"


i drove that same road home later that day and the squirrel was mushed into at least three pieces, each about 3 feet ahead of the other.


did the rodent even think?
do i?
well for what its worth im going to try to live life.
for what its worth im going to try to be okay with fucking up
im going to try to be okay with getting let down
im going to be okay with the fact that seriously...
seriously no on will read this. the internet and livejournal might as well die with the rest of us.


i've got some feelings
i've got some memories all the same.


but realistically

i'll be forgotten by next year








i'm going to live forever